Amanda Lehman

be Mine.

2012-02-14T00:49:00.000-05:00

How sweet it is to be His! Happy Valentine's Day, friends. YOU ARE LOVED!

update overdue...

2012-02-11T13:16:00.000-05:00

I've been back from India for nearly a month now and left this poor blog neglected. So... for those of you who've been asking where in the world I am & what in the world I'm up to, here's a brief update, picture-style, to bring us up to speed. :-)

Welcomed to Chicago by my own smiling face... (ha!)

and a perfectly-timed snowstorm that turned my 12-hour layover into three extra days with friends!

Then home sweet home to Birmingham, Alabama (?!?!)...

and the sweetest roommates I could ask for.

A "Midwest Tour" to visit family in Indy, Elkhart, and Cuyohoga Falls, OH,

including a fancy father-daughter date night at my parents' church.

(Somehow this is the only picture I have from the whole week! ha!)

And now back in Birmingham, still unsure of exactly why I'm here, but thankful for my roommates, a growing community of friends, and a church I love so much that I go to the services twice, just so I don't miss anything! ha! I'm also thankful for work-- babysitting-- and great families to work for.

As for BELLA... (many of you have asked!)

My time in India came and went (3 months longer than anticipated even) and still no word on Bella. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I obviously did not meet up with the Wilbanks in India, like I'd hoped, and they'd about had it with all this waiting (it has now been four years since they started the adoption process). And then-- last week-- came the news. They've been APPROVED! Her papers are getting one more official stamp, and then they'll be on their way to bring Bella home. Woohoo!

YES, I am planning to run a marathon this spring. (Don't think I'd ask for your money and then weasel my way out of those 26.2 miles!) Probably Nashville in April, but I'll keep you posted. :-)

That's all for now, folks.

surrender

2012-01-24T11:08:00.000-05:00

I’m done.

Done pouting. Done kicking. Done pushing You away.

Done clinging to myplans and disregarding Yours.

Done complaining about what I don’t have.
Done comparing myself with those who do.

Done resisting. Done resenting.

Done grasping for security apart from You.

Done with the willful rebellion.

Done with the chosen unfaithfulness.

Done with the deliberate doubt, when You’ve given me Your promises.

Forgive me, Father,

and help me today,

by Your grace,

to respond to my circumstances in FAITH.

To embrace the neediness that draws me to You.

You haven’t called me to know. You’ve called me to follow.

And to a King so deserving,

So gracious and patient and steadfast and good,

How else could I respond but to bow and worship?

MY LIFE IS YOURS.

Gladly, I let go.

I give up. I give in.

And if You ask me to babysit in Birmingham, Alabama,for the rest of my life,

even still,

YOU ARE WORTHY.

enough

2012-01-15T04:00:00.000-05:00

I remember back in October, when I first arrived. I'd brought some story books for the boys (thanks to many Birmingham friends who loaded up my suitcase!), which were received with such excitement and read again and again and again til the covers nearly fell off in the first few days.

But then came the attitudes-- or "badittudes," as we call them. "Didn't you bring more? We've read all of these books, mam. These books are boring, mam. We want more!"

Only Shubham looked at me, from up on his top bunk, and said, "No, mam. Thank you for these nice books that you did bring."

And with those two words, "Thank you," my angry heart melted all the anger right off.

I thought about this incident a lot last week as I was preparing to leave. I thought about the tendency-- my tendency-- to take a good gift and say, "It's not enough. I want more!" instead of simply being thankful for what it is.

The fact is: this free plane ticket to India was a gift.

These 2 weeks... turned 5 weeks... turned 7 weeks... turned 15 weeks in the sweetest place on earth were a gift.

And now, it comes to an end.

Sure, I'm sad to leave these precious boys.

Sure, I'm wondering what's to come.

But mostly, I am thankful.

So, so thankful.

As I was saying my goodbyes, the boys and I were remembering all the fun things that I was able to be around for-- Diwali, 11-11-11, Christmas, New Year's, birthdays...

Rahul was counting them all up on his fingers. "Mam," he exclaimed, his big brown eyes sparkling, "that's 7 things!"

Thank you, God, for these 7 things.

Thank you, God, for these 15 weeks.

Thank you, God, for all that You give and all that You are.

You are enough.

So long, sweet boys.

Until we meet again...

s'mores

2012-01-07T05:03:00.003-05:00

Rahul and Miraj missed our New Year's Eve bonfire,

so they came to my house yesterday to roast their s'mores...

...over the double-burner stove top. :-)

I was ready to put the marshmallows on a fork, but they just laughed (I'm not sure they'd ever seen a fork!). "Mam, we can get sticks!" they said, and plucked two twigs right off the tree that hangs over my front porch.

Rahul's marshmallow caught on fire every two seconds, so he'd quickly pull it off and blow a dramatic "ahhh-pfffffff." They were both all giggles.

At last, we had a party on the porch.
It's moments like these that make me dread January 10th.
Life here is just so sweet.

(A big thanks to my momma, "Jan Mam," for sending the marshmallows!)

reflections

2012-01-04T19:41:00.004-05:00

2011 was, til now, the most unpredictable year of my life. I knew I was leaving India and moving home to Indiana, at least through my sister’s July 3rd wedding. Beyond that, I had absolutely no idea... which was either exciting or terrifying depending on the day.

Mostly terrifying.

July 3rd came and went, and still I had no answers. No job. No community. No place to live (apart from a bedroom in my gracious parents’ house). No husband (or prospect of one, for that matter). No direction. No nothing. Only a mountain of Kleenex collecting beside my bed.

Where was God? Did He care?
Surely He had dropped the ball.
Surely I’d been tricked.

But just when I’d given up hope, again, some crazy door would fly open, hit me right in the face– a teaching job at a public high school, a move to Alabama, a free plane ticket back to India– and remind me that though I’d forgotten God, He had not forgotten me.

“When we are faithless, He remains faithful, for God cannot deny Himself.” (2 Tim. 2:13)

2012 looks equally unpredictable... and yet, I feel much differently this year. I’ve learned a few things, I think.

I’ve learned to keep Kleenex handy– in my purse, in my car, beside my bed.

I’ve learned that being “needy” is okay when you have friends and family who love you anyway, even when you feel you have nothing to offer in return.

I’ve learned to hold plans very loosely, as God’s plans are oftentimes not my own. They’re better.

I’ve learned that God’s timing is definitely not my own... but no matter what it may appear, He has not forgotten His children.

I’ve learned that God’s silence is intentional. His goodness is unconditional. His faithfulness is certain. All the time. In spite of me.

I’ve learned that, in everything, He can be trusted.

Once again, I open a new calendar and have absolutely NO IDEA where I will land at the end of it. But this time, I am not afraid.

I leave Selaqui in 5 days. Five days.

Already I feel that pit in my stomach coming on. More goodbyes. Still no answers. But one thing I know: I have a good Father who loves me and is writing a beautiful (yes, and unpredictable) story with my life, and so I choose to TRUST.

A sweet friend sent me this quote, and I’m making it my prayer for 2012:

I want Thy plan, O God, for my life.

May I be happy and contented whether in the homeland or on the foreign field;

whether married or alone;

in happiness or sorrow;

health or sickness;

prosperity or adversity–

I WANT THY PLAN, O GOD, FOR MY LIFE.

I want it; oh, I want it.

-Oswald J. Smith

Merry Christmas from the Selaqui family!

2011-12-31T03:02:00.000-05:00

Maybe it’s because this was my 3rd out of the past 4 Christmases in India...
Maybe it’s because leaving ripped my heart out, which made coming back especially sweet...
But being here-- for Christmas-- with this family, felt so right.

Everything is different than back in America. No Christkindlmarkt or Macy’s window displays. No Christmas music on the radio. Fried chapatis and spicy paneer on Christmas morning instead of Mom’s candy cane coffee cake.

And yet, maybe the strangest thing of all is that all these strange things could feel so... normal. This place has truly become my home; these people, my family.

Of course I love my family back in America. Of course I missed our Christmas Eve pico de gallo and “A King is Born” glow-stick parade around the house. But, seeing as I can’t be in two places at once, I’m thankful this year for yet another special Christmas here.

It’s Christmas Eve. The big boys’ hall is decorated with crepe paper and balloons and our makeshift tree, and we’ve all gathered for the traditional program– songs and dances and skits so funny my face hurts from laughing. We break, 10 minutes, for chai around the bonfire. And finally, after midnight, out come the gifts– a bundle for each boy (a sweater, pants, a new pair of shoes...) and a coveted bag of peanuts and treats.

There’s something so precious and innocent about this kind of Christmas. So removed from the “hustle and bustle” of the West. A true celebration of family and love and JESUS. And I’m blessed to be a part of it again.

Christmas morning, we gather on the stairs for breakfast and worship. Several of the older boys have come “home” for the holidays– it just seems right having them here. Frieda is smiling big under her red woolen cap, and we thank God for her life and health. It could have been a much different Christmas. But here we are. The sun is shining, the family is together, and our hearts overflow with gratefulness.

What a gift.

(By the way, a special thanks to Ade & Jeff and Liza for their help with this year’s “team shirts.” The boys love them, and I've been seeing orange, orange, orange all week long!) :-)

goin' on a Christmas tree hunt

2011-12-27T01:02:00.001-05:00

Around here, finding the perfect Christmas tree does not mean driving to Eby Pines and wandering through rows and rows of beautiful evergreens, hot chocolate in hand, until at last that "star" shines down on just the right one-- with ornament-catching needles for Mom, and 10-feet tall for Audra.

Around here, finding the perfect Christmas tree is a jungle adventure the boys call "Man vs. Wild." And this year, they invited me to join.

As we were leaving, Joshua handed me a stick, "in case you see any tigers." Thankfully, we did NOT see any tigers, but we did run into some of these...

We blazed a trail through bamboo and sugarcane in search of any pine-ish looking plants, which we chopped down with a sickle and tied together to make a big "tree."

We made it out alive, although our pants were covered with sticky bristles. A small sacrifice. I'd say we were quite successful.

full.

2011-12-23T15:31:00.001-05:00

Wednesday was Gautam's 10th birthday, and he requested chow mien for dinner (a favorite treat around here). We were all sitting on the cold cement floor, eating heaps of noodles with our fingers, when Gautam looked up at me from under his birthday crown with an almost painful look on his face. "Mam," he said, "my pet (Hindi for stomach) is sooo full..." Pause. Then he broke out into a big smile, "Full of joy!"

Aww. So is mine, Gautam. So is mine.

Full of joy to be here, now, celebrating Christmas with my favorite boys in the whole world.

Full of joy for the love and encouragement of family and friends on the other side of the world.

Full of joy for a God who is so so faithful all the time.

Full of joy for an awaited Messiah-- the promised Rescuer, Redeemer-- Immanuel, God with us.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas, full of love and hope and all the joy your heart can handle!

operation SUCCESSFUL!!!

2011-12-09T03:54:00.001-05:00

Praise God! The tumor has been removed, the doctors are 99% sure it was benign, and Frieda is the most beautiful bald-headed woman I have ever seen. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers.

operation TOMORROW, 9:00 am India

2011-12-08T07:45:00.001-05:00

Just got an update from Frieda. Her operation is scheduled for tomorrow morning, December 9th, at 9:00 am India time. Most of her family is with her now, and the last two daughters will be flying in-- from Canada and China-- on Monday morning. Frieda has an unexplainable peace and joy that could only come from the Lord. Thank you for your continued prayers.

a hopeful update...

2011-12-07T09:10:00.000-05:00

The operation has been postponed for another day or two. The doctors THINK the tumor is benign... and they are saying that the surgery should be a fairly minor one (as far as brain surgeries go). This is good news, and we are hopeful.

THANK YOU for your prayers. It's an amazing thing to know that there are people on their knees, pleading for Frieda's life, literally all over the world. Frieda's oldest daughter joked, "The devil is going to regret that he ever messed with Frieda McRae." :-) I think she's right.

Will keep you posted.

please pray NOW!

2011-12-06T21:37:00.000-05:00

More news we weren't prepared for: Frieda is having brain surgery TODAY (Wed. am, India/Tues. pm, USA).

She went for testing yesterday, to another state with one of the best brain doctors in India. We all assumed she'd get the tests and then come back to Shishya for at least a few weeks before scheduling an operation (if necessary). But apparently they've found a mass that's pushing against her brain and making it swell, and it's necessary to take action immediately. They've shaved her head. And her husband and children (most of them) have gone to be with her... which tells me it's serious.

Please, please PRAY.

I don't want my mind to go there, and I don't want to admit that it does, but the "what if's" are creeping in. What if that brief hug on Monday morning when Frieda snuck me out of assembly to say "goodbye" was really goodbye? What if the reason God brought me back to India-- and kept me here-- was for this? It's too much to bear; I just want to puke.

Last night I went to the school to be alone, to think, to pray. The moon was nearly full, shining so brightly that I could see my shadow as I walked across the cricket field. I lay on the cement roof, staring up at the patches of clouds sweep across the sky. And momentarily, the moon disappeared. And reappeared. Again and again.

I thought about how the moon was there the whole time, shining as brightly as ever-- it was only the passing darkness that kept me from seeing its light. And I thought about God and His unchanging character and the shadows that sometimes distort our view. But when our eyes cannot see, we look with our hearts, and we cling to His unfailing promises...

that He is FOR US, not against us.
that He works out everything for our good and His glory.
that He is our Shepherd who cares for us.
that He is our Father who loves us.
that He is GOOD.
all the time.
no matter what.

please pray

2011-11-30T20:56:00.000-05:00

We received some bad news this week: Frieda (the amazing woman who, along with her husband, started this place) has a brain tumor.

She fainted suddenly one afternoon and went to the doctor the next morning for a check-up. We knew she'd been under a lot of pressure lately, but no one expected this. They don't know yet how serious it is-- further testing must be done next week.

We're all shocked, but trusting that God is NOT. Nor is He powerless to save.

Frieda herself is handling everything with such strength. (Of course, who's surprised about that? It is Frieda, after all!) Her unwavering faith is an example to all of us, and I truly believe that God is just setting the scene to show His power once again in her amazing life story!

Please pray for healing. Pray for peace. And pray that this will be an opportunity for God's greatness to be made known among all the peoples of the world... and especially the lost community right here.

thankfulness=HAPPINESS

2011-11-22T05:56:00.001-05:00

I can’t count the number of “thank you’s” I hear each day...

I comb out lice. “Thank you, Mam!”

I give a piece of gum. “Thank you, Mam!”

I read a story book. “Thank you, Mam!”

I tuck them into to bed. “Thank you, Mam!”

The boys here have such a habit of thankfulness– which, I think, explains why they’re SO HAPPY. They appreciate everything!

Lemon juice squeezed on a plate of rice. A handful of peanuts. A drink of cold water.

The other day, Auntie gave them some new winter socks. Miraj went straight to his box to pull out all his other socks– “Now I have red school socks, blue play socks, and black night socks!” Ashish also looked at me with a big smile, “I have three socks too! Two-two black socks and one colorful socks from my birthday!” They were genuinely excited... about socks.

How many pairs of socks did I have before I stopped being thankful?

I came across this quote in One Thousand Gifts (Ann Voskamp– an excellent read!) and was convicted by its truth: "Pride slays thanksgiving. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves." -Henry Ward Beecher

On the contrary, "Humility grows gratitude that yields abundant joy." (Ann Voskamp)

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I am so challenged by the example of these boys– challenged to cultivate a habit of thankfulness in my own life, not just once a year, but every day, all the time. Challenged to humbly recognize all good things as an undeserved gift from God to be received with thanks.

(Don’t be fooled by the angelic smiles. They are still kids, and sinners too, so yes, they also have their moments of ungratefulness– or “bad-ittudes,” as we call them– like last Saturday movie night when a close half lost the vote and had to watch Beauty and the Beast instead of Lion King. A devastating loss, I understand, but some very ugly “bad-ittudes” had to be addressed. Still, on the whole, I sure have a LOT to learn from these boys...)

P.S. Speaking of thankfulness, I'm thankful for 6 more weeks here on the sweetest place on earth... I'm staying for Christmas! :-)

who needs Wii when you've got...?

2011-11-16T07:24:00.000-05:00

We live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, but somehow the boys never run out of entertainment...

Like Sunday afternoon van-rolling.

We are hanging out on Sonu & Lindsay’s porch, reading story books and doing puzzles, when Sumit spots their van parked nearby and decides to hop in. Soon others join him, climbing around and hanging out the windows and rocking back and forth.

But the real fun begins when the boys discover that it’s parked on a slight slope, and if they put the van in neutral, they can push it up the slope about 10 feet, hop in, and catch a free "ride" down. Of course they invite me to join.

So we push, all together, and then quickly climb aboard while one person "drives" the 10 feet down the slope. Just when we’re really rolling, the boys think it’s hilarious to slam on the breaks as hard as they can, and we all go jerking out of our seats. We laugh, and climb out, and do it all over again. And again. And again.

Another play-time favorite is skating (thanks to Lindsay’s mom & the new rollerblades)...

And, this week’s big hit: stilts!

The sun is setting, the fields are glowing pink, and we’re all gathered on the badminton court– boys zipping around everywhere! Gautam is pushing Rohan on a bicycle, while Bharat skates in and out, moguls-style. Pradeep comes crashing through, out of control, on his junker car ("Master Blue," they’ve named it), with Miraj in the middle and Shubahm and Narotham pushing from behind. And John totters by on stilts. It is total chaos, and total fun.

And I catch all these firefly moments and add them to my jar, which is glowing quite a lot these days...

11-11-11

2011-11-12T14:25:00.001-05:00

I had been dreaming about this moment for years (seriously)...

And from the look of this face, 11-11-11 lived up to all my wildest expectations... :-)

(blurry picture-- the boys had my camera again...)

We'd been planning a party all week long, and everyone was excited that it would fall on a Friday, which is already "chicken night" around here. We talked about playing games or watching a movie, but on Friday morning Thapa came up with a better idea-- "I will dance, Mam. You bring costumes! We do program!" And so it was settled-- we'd celebrate with an 11-11-11 talent show.

Rohan, Rahul, and Miraj recited poems ("One, two, buckle my shoe..."). Ashish sang a solo. Ratan and Bharat showed off their dance moves, while Pradeep and Nanda played as the dj's. Mukhund did his scary voice impression. And I wowed them all with the ol' "shaker-in-my-sleeve" magic trick. They were totally fooled.

But no question about it, Thapa stole the show with two shameless dances and a solo (accompanied, of course, on his badminton-racket-guitar). Shubham helped him style his hair between performances.

And no party is complete without... Jell-O! I tried to make rainbow layers this time, but when I flipped it out of the pan, a big Jell-O blob went everywhere. Oops. Oh well, the boys didn't seem to mind!

We finished the night with some old "home videos"-- like the boys' rendition of The Lion King, which just keeps getting funnier and funnier with time. As we all crowded around the computer-- watching, laughing, remembering-- I looked at 15 smiling faces and thought once more of how blessed I am to be a part of this family. Again and again, my heart overflows. What a happy, happy day!

firefly moments

2011-11-02T22:36:00.000-04:00

Every day here there are these moments... these “firefly moments” that I just want to catch in a jar and share their glow with the whole wide world.

Moments like these...

It’s lunch time, and Kiran Uncle has a special treat– a bunch of bananas from the tree by the fish pond. Mukhund pops a bite into his mouth and closes his eyes, chewing slowly and dramatically, with a goofy smile like he’s having a good dream. “Mam,” he says, “like Ratatouille!” And I know what he means– the part of the movie when the little mouse tastes food and all the flavors become a swirl of colors and music around him. It’s that good.

We’re out in the field playing, and Rohan is teaching me how to roll an old bike tire. The little boys are experts at this– they hit it with a stick and chase it around the field until they’re all out of breath. My first attempt is terribly disappointing, but after a quick lesson– “Lefty hand here, Righty hand hit! Run, Mam, run!”– believe it or not, I roll that tire across the whole field! And Rohan smiles big.

Thapa, Mukhund, and Rahul join us for “invisible cricket.” We don’t have a ball, but we have a stick and big imaginations. We take turns “bowling” and “batting,” and Rohan is our all-time fielder, his little legs racing in whichever imaginary direction we hit, sometimes even diving for a really dramatic save. Somehow he catches it every time. :-)

15 boys in cozy flannel pajamas snuggle together on their bunks as I read them a Bible story. The electricity goes out (typical), but I have a flashlight, which makes the story all the more dramatic, really– an angry Pharaoh and a river turned to blood and an angel of death killing firstborn sons. It suddenly feels like a scary story around a campfire, but the boys are glued, and there in the darkness, I see 15 pairs of white eyes staring back at me. The light comes back on, and we finish our story, and we pray and thank Jesus for being our Passover Lamb, for rescuing us and saving us and dying in our place.

It’s bedtime now, and by the time I tuck the littlest ones in, most are already asleep. So I tell stories to Bharat and Ratan about silly college pranks and sneaking boys into a girls bathroom at the John Hancock for a good view of the city. They giggle, and then I pray and sing and kiss them goodnight. As I leave, Bharat reminds me that “Tomorrow is chicken!” (Friday night dinner) and he tells me that he and Ratan will stay up late telling more stories about their imaginary adventures. I laugh.

It’s moments like these that my heart just explodes, and I look around and think, “I’m the luckiest girl alive.”

I can’t believe that I get to know these boys. That I get to be a part of their lives and that they are a part of mine. What a gift to be a part this family. What a gift to be back.

festival of LIGHTS

2011-10-26T15:31:00.004-04:00

Happy Diwali!

The boys got all spiffed up for their annual night-on-the-town.
(Several of them had already laid out their clothes last night!)

A handsome bunch, might I add. :-)

The big boys walked, while the rest of us (14 in all) loaded the Trax. Rahul and Bharat were taking "tickets," and everyone waved "goodbye" to the farm for our 1.5 mile trip into Selaqui. Quite the excitement!

This year, most of my boys opted to spend their 20 rupees (40 cents) on snacks instead of firecrackers. They loaded up on peanuts, sweets, biscuits, and chips.

Then back to the farm to blast our firecrackers... which didn't last long, because a) they spent all their money on food, and b) one of the new boys almost blew up his little brother. Oops. Who ever thought it was a good idea to give little kids explosives?!

Still, a fun, FUN night! The boys went to bed with full bellies and big smiles.

On a more serious note, last week I led some school assemblies on the theme of "light," and I can't get these verses out of my head--

"The god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers,

to keep them from seeing the LIGHT of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as LORD...

For God, who said, 'Let LIGHT shine out of darkness,'

has shone in our hearts to give us the LIGHT of the knowledge of the glory of God

in the face of Jesus Christ."

2 Corinthians 4:4-6

It's a real life tug-of-war-- the little "g" god of this world, trying to keep us in darkness and blind our minds from seeing the Gospel, and the big "G" true God, shining His light in our hearts and opening our eyes to Him. And we, in the middle, rescued from darkness-- WE PROCLAIM CHRIST.

May eyes be opened as we celebrate the Light!

happy heart :-)

2011-10-21T14:21:00.002-04:00

Back with my boys-- what more could I ask for?!

Rohan

Gautum

Harsh, one of the newest boys. He and his brother arrived just last week.

Joshna & Beulah, staff daughters

Story time with Bharat and Ratan while someone stole my camera :-)

Goofy as ever. How could you not LOVE these guys?!

I tucked the nine littlest ones into bed tonight, and by the time I finished singing "Goodnight boys," most of them were fast asleep, which meant I got to give nine goodnight kisses without any fight. That's a good night. My heart is full. :-)

in her shoes

2011-10-15T07:26:00.000-04:00

Picture this scene...

We were sitting together on a mat, after eating a special lunch of chapatis and goat brain, cooked outside over an open fire. We had just finished our "Breast Cancer Awareness" program, teaching these 20+ village women about basic health and also sharing the Gospel. Now only ten or so of us remained, and we asked them if there was anything we could pray for before we left.

One by one, the women shared their stories. And one by one, we paused to pray.

"My husband beats me. I am afraid. Pray that he will stop."

"My father drinks too much. Please pray for peace in our home."

"I want to go to high school, but my parents will not allow. They are already planning my marriage."

"I have five children already and could not afford one more, so I took a pill to end my pregnancy. Now I have been bleeding for 8 days, and I am very afraid. I just want God to forgive me, and I will never do it again."

Real women. Real stories.

This week, my eyes have been opened to the harsh realities of life as a woman in this country.

Our friends here have started an income-generating project for village women, called Ergon, creating beautiful hand-made cards and journals to be sold abroad. For some of these women, this is their only opportunity to leave the house.

I met a 22-year old girl, wife and mother of two-- her firstborn, a girl, unwanted and doomed to suffer the same fate. The second (praises be!), a boy, the pride of the family. She lives with her in-laws, confined to the house as a servant. And she can never go out in public without her head entirely covered.

How thankful I am for freedom.

In the evenings, we had the privilege of meeting some sisters in Christ here in a local house church. These women are uneducated, and most are illiterate. Their knowledge of the Bible is limited to that which they hear-- but how will they hear unless someone tells them? We taught some Bible stories along with a henna design to help them remember and also to create an easy opportunity for them to share the story with their neighbors and friends.

Many thoughts... still trying to figure out what to do with them. For now, I guess I am just thankful. Thankful for freedom. Thankful for education. Thankful for CHRIST.

But I am also responsible. Responsible to speak. Responsible to act. This is the hard part... may I not leave unchanged.

Selaqui tomorrow-- cannot wait to SEE MY BOYS!!! :-) :-) :-)

camel... at a gas station.

2011-10-15T07:20:00.001-04:00

Enough said. :-)

here :-)

2011-10-08T13:10:00.000-04:00

Arrived safely on none other than Flight 126. Yes, 126... ha!

Always thankful for the 30 long hours of travel that allow my heart and mind to catch up to my body-- especially since the "switching gears" seemed so accelerated this time. To think that only 8 days ago this trip did not even exist... wild!

I believe this experience will forever be a "marker" for me of a tangible moment when GOD SHOWED UP. Showed me that He loves me. Showed me that I've not been forgotten. Showed me that He's at work in my life, and it has nothing to do with me.

Surely, "The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad!"

Oh, the significance of this "marker," in light of the dreadful lows of this past year-- the doubts, the confusion, the hopeless sense of abandonment. And now THIS. I am moved to tears.

I would love to promise that I will never doubt again-- that this is all the proof I need. And yet, I know my heart all too well. I know that I am but an Israelite, feasting on the very manna from heaven and still grumbling for meat. When will it be ENOUGH? When will HE be enough?

And yet, "The LORD, the LORD, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." Steadfast, love, unchanging even in our faithlessness, our forgetfulness. Oh, friends, isn't this good news?!

Jaipur this week-- medical clinics for women & discipleship with local believers.
Thanks for your continued prayers.
Much love,
Amanda

countdown to India: 4 hours!

2011-10-07T03:13:00.001-04:00

Humbled and awed by our wild God.

Were I to write all the crazy details that He has worked out this week, I'd be up all night. Let me just say-- His hand is ALL OVER THIS TRIP.

Suitcases are packed, and I am ready... thankful... expectant.

And this is my song:

Psalm 126

"When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,

we were like those who dream.

Then our mouth was filled with laughter,

and our tongue with shouts of joy;

then they said among the nations,

'The LORD has done great things for them.'

The LORD has done great things for us;

we are glad.

Restore our fortunes, O LORD,

like streams in the Negeb!

Those who sow in tears

shall reap with shouts of joy!

He who goes out weeping,

bearing the seed for sowing,

shall come home with shouts of joy,

bringing his sheaves with him."

What a sweet, sweet gift... and I, so unworthy, yet "Amanda Jane"--loved because God is GRACIOUS. My hearts spills with gladness.

Please PRAY that this trip will be a showcase of HIS greatness & glory among the nations.

Pray for hearts to be open to the Gospel (specifically w/ the village women we meet in medical clinics).

Pray for a sweet visit/reunion with the Selaqui boys.

And pray for the Wilbanks family and this adoption trip... I would (selfishly) LOVE to join them as they pick up their daughter, Bella, and bring her HOME! I would also love for their waiting period to be over. But adoption is war, and there's a major battle going on here. (Read Brittnie's "Warfare prayers and a Miracle"). Our God is greater.

crazy, crazy turn of events...

2011-09-30T14:17:00.000-04:00

I'm going to India. For FREE. NEXT WEEK!!!

My, oh my, where to even begin?

Some of you may know that I was planning to visit Selaqui for Christmas & possibly overlap with my friends, the Wilbanks, on their adoption trip (to pick up their daughter, Bella). I was about to buy my plane ticket, but took this week to think/pray/wait, as those timings are impossible to "plan"-- it would kinda have to be GOD.

Well... yesterday I got a phone call from a church friend, Lesley, who is going on a mission trip to India. Her other friend/teammate had to drop out at the last minute, leaving an open spot to fill (and she cannot go by herself). So... Lesley called to see if I wanted to go. For free. On Friday.

Umm, really, God?!?!

To make it a bit more complicated though, Indian visa rules require two months out of country before re-entry. Which means, were I to go with Lesley, I could not turn around and go back again in Nov/Dec as I'd planned. My alternative is to STAY! So... I am adjusting my dates to go with Lesley and split afterwards to visit Selaqui, until HOPEFULLY I can connect with the adoption trip (November?) and fly home with the Wilbanks family & Bella!!!

I obviously was NOT anticipating this, and it does throw off some October plans... like the "Running for Bella" marathon. Ha! (To those of you who have already given support, I do promise to run a marathon for Bella, even if it is not in Atlanta on October 30th. Who knows? Maybe it will become "Running WITH Bella"...!!!)

But, my "plans" aside, I cannot deny that God is dropping this opportunity in my lap... and it seems like I should take it! (I mean, really, when was the last time you were offered an all-expense-paid trip to India?!) It's both humbling and thrilling to watch Him work in such clear ways-- unexpectedly, and in spite of ME. (When we are faithless, He is still faithful, for He cannot deny Himself!) All I can do is just laugh and keep walking through these crazy doors that He's opening. Only God!!

So... that's the scoop. Stay tuned!

Running for Bella

2011-08-30T19:06:00.000-04:00

Since the move to Birmingham last month, I've had the sweet privilege of getting to know the Wilbanks family. We've been "blog friends" for over two years now through our common connection to India (I was working with children in India, and they were seeking to adopt one!). This family is precious, and the more I get to know them, the more I am so excited for their new addition and so blessed to be a small part of the journey. Her pink room longs for laughter and dress-up play, her big brothers are eager to show her the trampoline, and her parents & Nana can't wait to make up for all the lost hugs & kisses of the past seven years. It's time for Bella to come home.

I am honored to run the Atlanta Marathon (10/30/11) for Bella. And YOU can be a part of it too! I'm looking for 38 people who will donate $26.2 (as a marathon is 26.2 miles) to reach my goal of $1000 for Bella. Adoption is expensive, but the Wilbanks are so close! By supporting me, you support them, and in turn you support an Indian orphan who is orphaned no more! Now THAT is something worth supporting! Because, dear child of God, isn't that OUR story too?

“Even before he made the world,

God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.

God decided in advance to ADOPT us into his own family

by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.

This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.

He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom

with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.”

(Ephesians 1:4-7)

We were the orphans– dirty, helpless, unwanted. But not forgotten by God. Through Christ, we’ve been rescued (though not without great cost!) and brought into the family of God– an adoption that changes everything. May we never forget our story!

Let's do this!

Orphaned no more,

Amanda

**Check out the Running for Bella website to learn more. And, if you'd like to donate, you can click directly on this link to Donate for Runner Amanda.There's a PayPal button on the right side. Easy as that!

undeserved love

2011-08-22T15:54:00.002-04:00

It's almost comical, really, the way things have fallen into place. Seven months of no direction--waiting, floundering, shaking faithless fists at heaven-- and now this. A great big "bear hug" from God, as one friend best described it.

In Birmingham, Alabama, of all places. ha! Doors are flying open, and I just laugh in disbelief and keep walking through them. Roommates. Housing. Jobs. Connections. Community. Friends. What next?

I keep thinking of 2 Timothy 2:13, "If we are faithless, HE REMAINS FAITHFUL, for he cannot deny himself."

This is not a story of my heroic "missionary" faith through some fierce and fiery trial.

It's a story of doubt, weakness, and unbelief, after a few piddly months of things not going exactly how I'd planned. A story of a tantrum-throwing toddler, kicking and flailing and screaming red-faced, "You don't love me!"

And a God who came through anyway. Because that's just who He is.

And isn't this always the story?!

Stubborn child, I am. Yet He calls me "worthy of love." My very name means that. How could I forget so easily?

I've been thinking a lot about my name this week. I don't know what got me started-- maybe the fact that I was feeling so unworthy of love. So un-Amanda.

(Bear with me. I know this may not be as interesting to you, but I just have to share!) The other night, I looked up its meaning again and something struck me that I'd never known-- Amanda, derived from a Latin verb form of amo, is not just "worthy of love" like I'd always thought, like that little name card from the Christian bookstore said. Literally, it translates, "she who must be loved."

Two parts here: a Love that is compelled, as of necessity or requirement. Determined, as a fixed resolve. Inevitable. Indispensable. Certain.

And a passive participle, meaning the "she" is doing nothing but receiving the Love.

Wow. She who receives an inevitable, certain love. Amanda.

And my middle name, Jane. I never cared much for it, really-- thought it sounded like a country song. But its meaning, in this new context, how wonderfully appropriate! Jane, "Yahweh is Gracious."

Do you see it?? Amanda, not "worthy of love," but she who must be loved, because Jane, God is gracious. That's why I am loved, and that's why I am WORTHY! Not because of what I do, but because GOD IS GRACIOUS!

"The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love...

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust."

(Psalm 103:8-14)

Oh, friends, isn't this good news? What is YOUR name?

the story continues...

2011-08-05T17:38:00.003-04:00

Well, the blog is back. To be honest, I haven't missed it-- the pressure to constantly update my life for public consumption (sometimes I worry I'll become better at writing than at living), the unavoidable self-promotion of a blog that bears my name, or the caring way too much about who's reading it anyway.

However... due to a lot of sudden & unexpected changes (and another move!), it seems to be the best way to stay connected with loved ones from a distance. So, I give in. :-)

In short: I'm moving to BIRMINGHAM (this weekend!) to join the Church at Brook Hills. (In case you--like me!-- didn't see that one coming, you may remember this post from my visit last August.)

In detail: Well, that's a story for another time... :-)

As for the past 7 months: The many joys-- sweet family time, teaching 9th grade English, and helping my sister plan (and pull off!) a beautiful wedding-- met some of the hardest & darkest times of my life. I'm naming 2011 "The Year I Learned to Keep Kleenex By My Bed." No real suffering, only the internal kind...

Grief. Depression. Hopelessness. Abandonment.

SILENCE.

I don't share this for your pity, but only to drag you along in the story. Any good story, as we all know, requires a conflict to be resolved. The greater the conflict, the more satisfying the resolution.

I share with you a bit my "great conflict" because I believe that God is writing a good story. And when the resolution comes-- and I know it will-- only He will get the credit (I promise, I would've never come up with a plot like this myself!).

And so, in whatever chapter we find ourselves, we turn the page once again, and we turn our ears to the Father, begging Him, "Tell us more, please. Tell us more." And He promises us it's going to be good...

goodbye, blogspot.

2011-01-05T10:10:00.014-05:00

With the closing of another year, and the closing of my time in India, I’ve decided to close up this blogspot as well. It began as a means of sharing my experiences here with friends back home and connecting the dots in between, and now I feel it’s purpose has been served. So, although life certainly goes on and there will always be much to share, I won’t be continuing with these public updates anymore.

Thank you, friend, for joining me in this journey– for laughing and crying, for jumping on any opportunity to give (Bibles, pajamas, school supplies, money!), and for holding me up in your faithful prayers. I hope that you were somehow blessed, challenged, or encouraged along the way.
May HE receive the praise.
Love,
Amanda :-)

goodbye, India.

2011-01-03T09:26:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the blog overload, but it is my last week here in India, so I think I’m allowed. :-)

ONE MORE DAY. I’ve cried more this week than ever before– I mean, that limp-heart, can’t-breathe, curl-up-in-a-ball kind of crying. I’m not trying to be dramatic here, but leaving feels like an unbearable loss, like an emptiness inside that will never ever be filled again.

My mom always says, “Don’t cry because it’s over, but smile because it happened.” And while I can’t seem to stop the tears, certainly I do have MUCH to smile about.

THESE HAVE BEEN THE BEST 3 YEARS OF MY LIFE.

Challenging? Yes. Frustrating? Often. Moments when I just wanted to curse India and get out of here? Absolutely. But never in my life have I felt so fulfilled, so ALIVE and satisfied.

What a blessing to be a part of this FAMILY... to watch the boys grow up, to celebrate birthdays and teach swimming lessons and laugh and play and dance, to cry and wipe tears, to read hundreds of storybooks and tuck them into bed at night. These are special, special boys– every single one of them. I don’t think I could possibly love them more... which, I suppose, explains the physical ache in my heart as I even think about leaving.

And yet I leave BLESSED. CHANGED. GRATEFUL.

Grateful to Ken and Frieda, for their inspiring lives of FAITH and Christ-like service & love, and for taking such good care of me!
To Kiran & Ruth– 16 years of selfless sacrifice, and still they serve with JOY. They are my heroes!
To the boys– what can I say? You have taught me to love.
To all the Shishya staff & volunteers who contributed in a unique way & were just the friends that I needed.
To India for opening my eyes and touching my heart. I will never be the same.
To Jesus– your steadfast love is better than life itself.

I’m going back to America now. I don’t know exactly why other than I feel like it’s the right thing to do. It’s time. Time for what? Again, I don’t know. This chapter may be over, but I am trying to believe that my life story is NOT. That God is still God and His way is best. I cling to Psalm 116:7, “Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”

My heart is breaking, my future uncertain... but the Lord is good.

party like it's 2011!

2011-01-02T06:20:00.000-05:00

A rainy afternoon might have kept us inside, but it sure didn't stop the FUN! I took advantage of the situation and got all the boys to make 2011 hats. :-)

Then we had a competition...

And the winner is... ROHAN!

Thankfully, the sky cleared up later that night for the traditional bonfire, and we had a really great time together with the whole "family." I looked around the circle at all the boys snuggled close together, and little Gautam asleep on my shoulder, and thought how truly blessed I am & how much I'm gonna miss this place.

And THIS is how you know it was a GOOD New Years' Eve... :-)

Happy 2011!

pajamas!

2010-12-31T07:50:00.000-05:00

The boys are looking soooo cute and cuddly in their new Christmas "night dress" (as they like to call it). A huge THANKS to all of you who made it possible! Wish the boys could thank you in person, but for now these pictures will have to do...

Ashish wears his superman pajamas OVER a sweater to show off his muscles. :-)

Pajama dance party...

THANK YOU!

Mighty Ducks LIVE!

2010-12-29T01:00:00.001-05:00

Ever since watching The Mighty Ducks, the boys have been OBSESSED with ice hockey and their own “floor-ball”/stick & paint-can-lid imitations.

So... when the volunteers heard about a fancy new hockey stadium being built in Dehradun, we thought it would be a fun Christmas gift to take the boys to a real game!

We all loaded the bus last Thursday, the boys cheering and whistling as we drove away. I was sitting next to Bharat, and we’d gone less than a mile down the road when, staring out the window, he said, “God blessed us so much.” I’m not sure exactly what prompted that comment, but how precious it is when even a 9-year-old can recognize all good things as a blessing from God...

We drove an hour or so-- past villages, through the jungle, on dirt roads & muddy construction sites-- until we finally reached the stadium. Wow. Only if you've been to India would you understand how completely OUT OF PLACE this stadium is. The zamboni was cleaning the ice, which itself would have been enough entertainment for our boys. That, and the ice chunks/slush they found on the side. :-)

The stadium was sooo nice, sometimes I forgot I was in India. And then, oh yes, I would remember...

The game was a blow-out. Team Delhi didn’t have uniforms, and in fact, they'd only ever skated on ICE twice (they’d been practicing with rollerblades). They lost 12-3. But, I don’t think our boys minded one bit.

I love this picture! So typical Bharat...

“Hey, you! Hockey man! Excuse me!”

“Yes, that's better.”

cookies!

2010-12-28T01:38:00.002-05:00

We had an oven this year! But no cookie sheets, so we were still limited to baking five at a time. 5 x 30 (+ 3 hours of no electricity) = a whole day event... but totally worth it! :-)

Thank you, Val & Jamie Lee, for sending all the goods! :-)

Christmas in India

2010-12-27T01:31:00.002-05:00

I missed the snow, and sleeping with Audra under the tree, and mom's famous candy-cane coffee cake... but I was so blessed to spend Christmas with my Indian "family" again this year. More to come soon, but for now you've gotta check out this little video from our Christmas Eve "talent show." I helped the small boys with this hip-hop dance. They are SO CUTE! Man, I'm gonna miss this place...

Christmas program

2010-12-19T13:37:00.001-05:00

For the past month, we’ve been working really hard on our school Christmas program. I taught ballet (my childhood Nutcracker dream come true!) to a group of girls, choreographed by our “professional ballerina,” Liz. :-)

I also helped Frieda write and direct the program. Considering our disastrous dress rehearsal on Thursday (SUCH a headache!)...

...Saturday’s performance for all the 500+ parents went (relatively) well. :-)

The teachers insisted in dolling me up in a saree. Vandana Mam, a really sweet 1st grade teacher (pictured below: far left), brought all the works for me to borrow-- saree, bangles, earrings, necklace, and even the bindi forehead dot. I felt like an Indian bride. :-) Putting on a saree is always such a group effort-- I had four teachers wrapping, folding, and pinning me up. I love that!

A very merry Indian Christmas to you!

one more month

2010-12-06T13:07:00.002-05:00

One more month of India.

One more month at Shishya School.

One more month with the boys who stole my heart.

Despite the recent frustrations with ALL OF THE ABOVE, I know that in one more month I will be bawling my eyes out and missing it terribly.

Last week was one of those TGIF kind of weeks. I was stuck in a substitute teaching nightmare with a very, very naughty 1st grade class. On Wednesday it finally dawned on me why I was having so much trouble when I looked around and counted 9 girls and 25 boys. 25 rambunctious, 6-year-old boys... who speak very little English... in one classroom. (I think I deserve a t-shirt.)

On top of that, the boys here at the home were giving me a lot of sass. (They are not always as precious as this blog may portray.) “Mam, we don’t like you. Mam, you can just go.” They don’t mean it, but still it hurts. I wanted to shake them and say, “I woke you up every night to go to the bathroom so you wouldn’t wet your bed, and then I washed your sheets and cleaned up your pee when you did. Don’t even give me that attitude!”

And then I thought of how often Jesus must feel that way... how we hurt him and mock him and tell him to go away, yet still he loves. Selflessly, constantly, unconditionally. Oh Jesus, teach me to love like you.

On Saturday I went up on the roof and had a good cry. Grieving the approaching loss of this place, and even more, grieving because in a sense I feel like I’ve already lost it. What for so long was “my place” doesn’t feel that way anymore. Soon it will be just a memory, just another chapter of life...

And while I hope the end is sweet (and don't get me wrong, it still has been sweet), I suppose the frustrations do make it easier to go. Val says it’s God’s “graciousness” towards me. Strange way of looking at things, but I think she’s right. If I still felt as alive and thriving as before, I sure wouldn't be ready to leave. So thank you, God, for prying these tight fingers and helping me to let go.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving...

2010-11-19T20:38:00.001-05:00

If I were to make a “hand turkey” for this week alone (which, actually, I probably will :-)), these would be my 5 thankful “finger feathers:”

1. Two new volunteers! Liz (Chicago) and Kelly (Alaska) both arrived on Wednesday. They jumped right in, and I can already tell that they’re going to be GREAT additions here. Hooray for new friends and extra help!

2. Love from home stuffed into Liz’s suitcases (pjs, cards, and Christmas treats!). Thank you! :-)

3. HOT SHOWERS! Yes, it’s true. They installed a hot water heater in the upstairs bathroom. I tried it out for the first time on Tuesday and was singing the Hallelujah chorus the whole way through. No more cold showers or bucket baths! Unbelievable.

4. Bedtime-tucking. Maybe it’s the maternal instinct kicking in, but tucking kids into bed is honestly one of my FAVORITE things in the world (right up there with fireworks and cupcakes, it makes me that happy!). I used to tuck these boys in every night, and then the house parents took over, which is better, really, but I missed it a lot. This week, though, Ruth Auntie ASKED if I could “help her out” by tucking them in twice a week! I could hardly contain my joy. I suppose I’d be willing to help... ;-)

5. The privilege of sharing life with these boys. Their simple joy and sincere faith inspire me. On Wednesdays and Thursdays, I have devotions with the smallest ones. Yesterday, I arrived a bit late and found them in their assumed places for “worship band”– Thapa and Bharat leading on badmitten racket “guitars,” Mukhund on percussion with his tin-box “drum,” and Miraj holding the lyric sheets off his top bunk. They sing out, clapping and dancing completely unashamed.

We learned about Joshua & Jericho and then ended our time with “popcorn prayer,” where anyone can say a short prayer like little kernels popping all around the circle. The boys were so eager to pray, they were interrupting each other to thank God for “you help in study,” “we have good day,” “you give nice things,” “you die on cross,” “you love us.” I think they could have gone on all night, but I finally had to stop them for dinner. Oh, to have that tenderness and sincerity. God, give us the heart of a child!

What’s on YOUR “hand turkey” this week?

P.S. Speaking of turkeys and other such feathered creatures, Papu died on Tuesday. Went peacefully in his sleep, or so I heard...

Papu the Parrot

2010-11-14T09:51:00.001-05:00

The boys have a new pet...

Kiran Uncle found him; his wings had been clipped. So Uncle brought him home, and now the boys are “loving” him back to health. We’ll see how that goes... I give him a week, tops.

This morning they let Papu out of his box for some fresh air and “exercise.” He can’t fly, but he can climb. The boys set him loose and then climb after him.

We tried giving Papu his first “speaking” lesson today. The bird was sitting on a low tree branch while the rest of us stood around squawking “hello” and “good morning” in our best parrot voices, when all of a sudden, Papu jumped from his branch onto my shirt! I screamed, both surprised and slightly uncomfortable with this creature (disturbed as he is) on my side. The boys got him off and put him back in the box, and that was the end of our lesson. I'm thinking puppies aren't so bad after all.

my first ultrasound.

2010-11-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

Let me clarify: I AM NOT PREGNANT.

But... a sudden crippling pain in my stomach during the middle of the night last Sunday (honestly, the worst pain I’ve ever experienced) landed me in the hospital on Monday morning for my very first ultrasound, at a grand total of 20 rupees (50 cents).

Thankfully, the doctor said it is nothing to be concerned about– no kidney stones, gall stones, or appendicitis– probably just something I ate (although I have a hard time believing that something I ate could cause that much pain). So, I took it easy this week and am feeling totally fine again, praise God.

I think about that waiting room, though, full of villagers in colorful saris who travelled who-knows-how-many kilometers to see a decent doctor. And I think about medical care and the privilege it truly is.

Privilege– I wasn’t sure that was the word I wanted to use, until I just looked it up in the thesaurus: “a special advantage, immunity, or benefit not enjoyed by all.” Yes, that's most certainly the word.

What baffles me is how something like medical care can be "not enjoyed by all." Don’t you find the world so off-balance sometimes? This summer in Chicago, I was wandering through Water Tower Place and was quite disturbed to see that American Girl Dolls have an exclusive hospital, where our dolls can enjoy better treatment than probably a large population of the world. It just doesn't seem right, does it?

Something to think about, I suppose...

stop already!

2010-11-11T06:00:00.001-05:00

Seriously, you all are TOO GENEROUS. I knew this was going to happen! Everything has been bought-- the underwear, socks, pajamas, and multiple pairs at that! But they will all go to good use, I promise. :-) Thank you, thank you, thank you. Pictures to come...

And while I'm at it, let me just mention a few other ways you can get involved:
1. Check out the "pray" tab for updated prayer requests. (I haven't done a great job at this, but I will try to post new prayer requests each week.)
2. Check out the "give" tab for how to make tax-deductible donations-- I am not raising personal funds, so ALL the money will go straight to needs here at the orphanage.

Grateful for your support,
Amanda :-)

(One more) Happy Diwali!

2010-11-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

I learned this week that India has more holidays than days in the year. I am not surprised. Seems like every week we’re having school cancelled due to Moon-god Day or Cow Dung Day or some Hindu god’s birth/marriage/victory/death... I'm never quite sure, but hey, a holiday is a holiday and I’m not complaining. :-)

This past week, however, was the biggest festival of the year, at least for Hindus– Diwali, the “Festival of Lights.” (For more on Diwali and its meaning, read this post from two years ago.)

Our celebration here was much the same as every other year. The boys get spiffed up in their Sunday best and slicked-back hair, and we load the bus for our annual trip into town (which is really just 2 miles away, but being the only time of the year when we all go together, it’s quite a big deal).

The market teems with firecracker stands and sweet shops. We split into groups, and each of the boys is given 10 rupees (25 cents) to spend as he pleases.

I love seeing their personalities come out here– Bharat wants to buy everything in sight. Rahul takes about as long to make his decision as he does to sharpen his pencils during homework time (which, let me tell you, is a l-o-n-g time). Little Ashish stands in that same hand-on-his-hip pose as he considers his options, and Thapa wants a “cold drink” (Coke), which unfortunately doesn’t fit in the 10 rupee budget, so he settles on some firecrackers instead.

And I just might have spoiled them with some peanuts and sweets along the way. :-)

We ride back through town, the boys pointing out all the blinking lights and decorations as we pass ("Mam, look! Blue lights! Pink lights! Orange lights!"), and then, home again... the real fun begins! Seriously, what is it with boys and exploding things?!?!

Our fireworks finish, but the village festivities continue on... non-stop explosions for about 4 days. Everyone knows I love a good firework show, but come on, not at 3 a.m. Thank goodness it's finally over! :-)

Operation PAJAMAS!

2010-11-02T12:41:00.007-04:00

First of all, a huge THANK YOU to the many of you who have so generously given your prayers, money, and resources to this place-- a generosity that has made me max-out my luggage weight-limits every single time I travel. :-) Your eager involvement and support has been such a blessing, and I am grateful.

(A special thanks to Lori Reichanadter & friends for the suitcase-full of school supplies & goodies!)

That said, here's another opportunity: OPERATION PAJAMAS!

Two years ago, the boys had never had pajamas-- you quickly took care of that problem, and they were thrilled. But... it's been two years, and the boys have grown a LOT.

My friend, Liz, is coming to volunteer in mid-November, and she is willing to bring whatever she can. So here's where YOU come in (ESPECIALLY you Chicagoans)-- BUY a pair of pajamas (or anything else on the list) and send it back with Liz! But act now; she's leaving in less than 2 weeks (November 15th).

The "Need":

*~~13 boys pajamas (warm ones for winter)~~

-~~Size 6: 2 sets~~
-~~Size 8: 4 sets~~

-~~Size 10: 3 sets~~

-~~Size 12 (or do they make 14?): 4 sets~~

*~~13 pairs of boys underwear (again, sizes 6-12)~~

*~~13 pairs of boys socks (especially bigger sizes; some of their feet are as big as mine!)~~

Chicagoans, your job is easy-- you can contact Liz directly. Email me (amanda.jane.lehman@gmail.com) for her phone number.

Non-Chicagoans, you can send the stuff to her family in Ohio. She'll be home to pick it up before she leaves. 13580 Otusso Dr, Perrysburg, OH 43551.

(Idea for families with kids-- take your children shopping and let them pick out the pajamas!)

Please comment as you buy so that we can make sure everything is covered!

THANKS A LOT!

things that make me smile...

2010-10-31T06:15:00.000-04:00

Gautam sprinting to give me a Monday morning hug (he hasn’t learned from the other boys yet that hugs aren’t cool).

Pradeep’s scrap “car,” used to chauffeur boys around the farm or to parade the current Commonwealth champ.

Sitting outside with the little boys, eating the unripe guavas they plucked from the trees.

Rahul’s homework: “Write three things you like to do in summer.” He thought for a while, and finally his eyes lit up-- “I like to drink cold water.”

The continued OBSESSION with the Mighty Ducks. Sports time is always some version of "ice hockey," with their homemade sticks and bottle cap pucks or, if they're lucky, the plastic floor-ball hockey sticks from the school. Either way, not a single day goes by when I don't hear "quacking!"

SWIMMING! It's getting cooler now-- starting to feel more like fall. But a few weeks ago, we did get in one final afternoon at the pool. Little Ashish doesn't want my help anymore-- he was swimming in the deep end all by himself! But the two new boys (Gautam and Rohan) needed some lessons, so I felt useful once again. :-)

I think it goes without saying-- this place and these BOYS bring me such JOY! My heart is full, and I am blessed.

Commonwealth Games

2010-10-24T10:59:00.001-04:00

The Commonwealth Games (the Olympic equivalent for countries once under the British Empire) were recently hosted in Delhi. So, naturally, here in Selaqui we’ve been having some “Commonwealth games” of our own. Ever the imitators.

Team India

Pradeep, Shubham, Miraj and Rohan

Team Australia

Ratan, Mukhund, Bharat and Thapa

Team Malaysia

Ashish, Rahul and Gautam (plus Nanda and Sumit)

Competitions include heavyweight-lifting (Small Ratan took the bronze), wrestling, badmitten, and the current favorite– ice hockey (we watched Mighty Ducks 3 last night– seriously, how many parts are there?!?!). They’ve been “quacking” before all their matches.

I'm telling you, it's very official. Referees, award ceremonies, and rusty oil-can “chai breaks.” And entirely their own doing! I’m merely the videographer. :-) Oh, these boys, can’t help but love em’!

just a 15-hour flight away...

2010-10-16T07:53:00.000-04:00

Oh, it's SO GOOD to be back! I arrived in Selaqui on Thursday morning, dropped my suitcases at the door, and went racing over to the small boys' house. My, how they've grown! Ashish finally has his two front teeth, and Pradeep is almost as tall as me-- his voice is changing too! haha. But other than that, nothing has changed. And it feels like HOME.

Two new little guys arrived while I was gone, Rohan and Gautam. Rohan is quieter and studious; he reminds me of Miraj. Gautam is a goof-ball, more like Bharat or Rahul. I've been helping Gautam with his homework-- his English is REALLY weak. The very first afternoon, we made "sh" flashcards (ship, sheep, shop, shoes) and soon after that he was tickling me with a long piece of grass. I love him already.

I was lying in bed last night, unable to sleep due to both jet-lag and the obnoxious wedding music entering uninvited through my open window. And it suddenly hit me what a funny, funny world this is and what a drastic difference just a 15-hour flight can make...

Last Friday night, I was babysitting two brothers in Chicago. They’d spent the day at football practice, play dates, and a school pizza party/movie night. They came home with a goody bag of chocolate chip cookies and, like typical kids, tried to weasle their way out of bedtime by recounting all their favorite scenes from The Mighty Ducks. I sent them to the bathtub and tucked them into bed, each in his own room, and sang “Good night, boys” like I always do. And then they fell asleep as I raided a fully-stocked refrigerator, watched t.v., and went home with $117.

This Friday night, I was watching a different group of boys, barefooted and brown-faced with big mischievous smiles. They’d spent the day working in the field, playing cricket, and celebrating Ashish’s 8th birthday with cake and a movie-- you guessed it, The Mighty Ducks.

We sat snuggled together on the cement floor, laughing when the hockey players fell down and cheering when the Ducks defeated the Hawks in the championship game. As the movie ended, Bharat asked a million questions, and Ratan and Rahul wanted to re-enact their favorite scenes. I sent them to brush their teeth and tucked them into bed, each on his own bunk, and sang “Good night, boys” like I always do. And then they fell asleep as I walked back to my house by the light of the moon, stomping extra loud for snakes.

Funny, isn’t it?

I don’t know what point I’m trying to make-- I just find it so puzzling, this co-existence of two very different worlds. And perhaps more puzzling is the strange commonality they share-- laughter and kids trying to stay up late and bedtime songs and The Mighty Ducks.

Puzzling as it may be, I'm grateful to call both places HOME. And for now, I'm grateful to be HERE.

10-10-10

2010-10-11T20:06:00.002-04:00

"THE DATE TO MOTIVATE"

...or something like that. Marathon #6 may not have been my best race ever-- with 80' temps and a general lack of energy (don't be fooled by the smile above!)-- but I certainly had the best fan club!

Mom and Dad made an extra trip to Chicago (in addition to their normal 3/week this volleyball season!) just to be there for the race. Plus Kelly with her cowbell and Val, yet again, my forever-faithful marathon cheerleader. Audra and cousin Elizabeth even jumped in to help Liza and me finish out the last 4 miles.

Adrienne & the kids cheered Jeff on to a strong 4:05 finish, with signs that read "My daddy is the best!" Yes, he is!

It was looooong and hot and painful, but along with 45,000 other runners,

WE DID IT.

ALL 26.2 MILES.

Even the Eiffel Tower finished the race.

Now I'm off the hook for another year, and Liza can finally check "run a marathon" off her bucket list. Way to go, Jeff & Liza! We may not be walking today, but don't you feel good???

And with that... I'm off to India. In 24 hours, to be exact. It's been a full and memorable 5 months at home-- the nomadic summer in the city with Aud, fireworks and Cubs games and free cupcakes at More, nannying, weddings, Little Eden, the spontaneous road-trip out West, Thursday morning family breakfasts at Yolk, a killer volleyball season for Audra-matic and Coach Lehman :-), and a perfect (FREE) penthouse for me-- I have much to be thankful for!

But I'm ready to go back... back to India for the last time. I haven't written too much about this-- maybe someday I will-- but in short, I have sensed God moving me in another direction and am now wrapping up my time in Selaqui and transitioning into who-knows-what. To be honest, I feel anxious about the future, and I struggle to trust that God still has good plans for my life beyond India. But I am confident that it's time to move on, to move forward, and although I don't know where I'm going,

I choose to trust.

Please pray for me as I return to the boys and wrap up this precious India chapter over the next few months...

and the last 3,000 miles...

2010-10-04T18:36:00.001-04:00

Oh dear. I've been back for 7 weeks now and my poor blog is still in Mexico. Buckle up, it's time to cruise.

Mile 2,904: Essex, CA

Who knew that there are 96 mile stretches with only one gas station?!?! We were almost in serious trouble-- like, dying-in-the-desert trouble-- three times. (You'd think we'd have learned the first time.)

We'd turn off the air (awesome idea).

We'd turn off the radio (made us feel like we were somehow conserving energy).

We'd coast at 55 mph and beg God to forgive us for our stupidity.

And every time, just as we were about to go up in fumes, we'd see those glorious three letters up ahead-- G-A-S-- shining like a desert mirage. Seemed too good to be true.

And then, at $4.05/gallon, we realized it was. I suppose when you're the only gas station in nearly 100 miles, stuck in a city with a population of 10 (I'm not exaggerating, we asked the cashier), you can charge whatever you want.

Lesson learned.

Mile 3,287: Flagstaff, AZ
Grand Canyon!

We stayed with my sweet friends, Alex & Christa, in their beautiful house in the woods. Thank you, Conrads!

Mile 3,592: Four Corners, USA

The cheesy tourist trap where Utah, Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona meet. And now I can say I've been in four places at once.

Mile 4,001: Colorado Springs, CO

Colorado is beautiful! Our 24 hours there was far too short. I've added "Hike Pike's Peak" to my bucket list, and now I'm pulling for a family vacation out West.

Cousin John slept on the couch so that Hannah & I could have the bed. That's love. He also treated us to dinner, along with his lovely girlfriend, Stacey. That John, what a gentleman. ;-) I promised I'd send a good report back to the family.

Mile 4,841: St. Louis, MO
Another cheesy tourist trap, and a few pictures to prove we were there.

Mile 5,256: Home Sweet Home

So thankful for my sweet friend and our incredible adventure on the road! After two weeks of being stuck in a car together, I can honestly say I wasn't sick of driving OR of Hannah! That's a good friend.

Mile 2,687: Tijuana, Mexico

2010-09-11T11:44:00.002-04:00

*I know this is a LONG post, but I do believe it's worth 3 minutes of your time...

Praise God for the lives that are being changed in Tijuana!

Hannah and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We crossed the border into Mexico to visit “some ministry that works with sex-trafficking” and were met by Steven Cass, founder of Breaking Chains Ministry. What we heard in that 20-minute car ride I can only describe as standing in front of a gushing fire-hydrant– I couldn’t take it all in.

Until just 5 years ago, Steven was a heavy drug dealer throughout Mexico and Central America, even working with Fidel Castro and a gang of Mexican mafia (his hit-men). He was also a client in the sex-industry.

Then GOD CHANGED HIS LIFE.

And, as a result, the lives of several of those hit-men, who now, along with Steven, dress up in Mexican police uniforms and bust into brothels to rescue girls. I’m telling you, this stuff is straight out of a movie. These guys have been gripped by the Gospel, and they are fearless.

He told us more statistics than I could ever remember, or maybe I just wanted to forget because they were so nauseating, so inhumane. And then he dropped us off at a cute little yellow beach house, the “Hogar de mis Hijas” (My Daughters’ House), to jump right in for the weekend.

There are currently 7 girls living there, ages 14-18, plus one 5-year-old little sister, Cynthia. Oh my word, she stole my heart.

She was glued to my side. I braided her hair and we played dolls and she fell asleep on my lap. So so precious. I enjoyed the other girls too, but I can’t explain the way my heart just gravitates to children.The girls at the home immediately welcomed us like sisters. And knowing Spanish was a huge advantage– it made for immediate connection. We went swimming in the ocean, jumped the waves, played beach volleyball, ate ice cream, watched a movie, and had a dance party. If you hadn’t known their past, you’d have thought they were just normal teenage girls. Such life and light in that home. Only Christ could bring about that kind of change.

We slept in the same room as the girls, on bunk beds right next to theirs. I couldn’t help but think of all the other rooms and rooms full of girls, throughout Mexico and Central America and Thailand and India and all over the world, forced into this sick kind of slavery. These are real girls, like me and my sisters and my little niece, Emma.

Sunday morning at church, we sang this beautiful Spanish song with lyrics that seemed especially meaningful to hear coming out of the girls’ mouths right beside me.

"Me viste a mi cuando nadie me vio. You saw me when no one else saw me.

Me amaste a mi cuando nadie me amo. You loved me when no one else loved me.
Y me diste nombre, And you gave me a name,
Yo soy tu nina, I am your little girl,
La nina de tus ojos, The little girl of your eyes.
Porque me amaste a mi. Because you loved me.
Me amaste a mi. You loved me."

When confronted with the evil, evil realities of this world, the only comfort I can cling to is that THE LORD SEES. He is the Defender, the Rescuer, the Savior. And He is not blind nor powerless to act.

I've found Isaiah 59 to be a great comfort as well, and I encourage you to open a Bible for yourself or read it here below...

Is. 59

“Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;

but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God,

and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.

For your hands are defiled with blood and your fingers with iniquity...

Therefore justice is far from us, and righteousness does not overtake us;

we hope for light, and behold, darkness, and for brightness, but we walk in gloom...

We hope for justice, but there is none; for salvation, but it is far from us.

For our transgressions are multiplied before you, and our sins testify against us; transgressing and denying the Lord, and turning back from following our God.

Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands afar off;

for truth has stumbled in the public squares and uprightness cannot enter...

THE LORD SAW IT, and it displeased him that there was no justice.

He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intercede;

then HIS OWN ARM brought him salvation, and HIS righteousness upheld him.

HE put on righteousness as a breastplate and a helmet of salvation on HIS head;

HE put on garments of vengeance for clothing, and wrapped HIMSELF in zeal as a cloak.

According to their deeds, SO WILL HE REPAY...

So they shall fear the name of the Lord from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun; for he will come like a rushing stream, which the wind of the Lord drives.

‘And a Redeemer will come to Zion, to those in Jacob who turn from transgression,’ declares the Lord.”

Please pray for Breaking Chains Ministry and the girls in "My Daughters' House."

Mile 2,660: San Diego, CA

2010-09-09T11:31:00.005-04:00

I never realized how beautiful America is! Interstate 8 West took us through a series of mountains unlike anything I’d ever seen-- massive rocks stacked on top of each other, as if a giant bull-dozer had blazed through and left these piles of stones in its trail. We happened to be driving through a valley just at sunset, so we watched the sun disappear behind a distant mountain and cast its golden glow on the other mountains around us. A few steep miles later, we came to peak and saw the sun set again, from a higher view point. We continued winding through these mountains for an hour or so, watching mesmerized as they turned orange, then pink, then purple, and finally became only a silhouette against the deep blue sky.

Pictures wouldn’t do it justice, and my description certainly doesn’t either. But it was one of those truly AWE-some moments, a beauty so captivating that you can’t stop smiling and you feel like you’re in love. Few things still point all men to eternity, and I think Beauty is one of them.

Met up with Cousin Andy in San Diego. He lives on a boat, travels the world, loves Jesus, and yes ladies, he’s single! ;-)
Thanks, Andy, for the tea & tour of Balboa park!

We also stayed with Hannah’s inspiring Aunt Dorothy. She runs a knitting program for the blind, where they make sweaters, scarves, etc. to give to those less fortunate. That’s right, the blind giving to the less fortunate! I love that idea of equipping people to GIVE BACK. When self-pity, depression, or that “give me” mentality kick in (haven’t we all experienced this?!), helping others takes our eyes off ourselves and brings such a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and joy.Thanks for sharing your home with us, Aunt Dorothy!

Mile 2,250: Tucson, AZ

2010-09-04T14:20:00.008-04:00

When I grow up, I want to be like Sally.She's a widow of 14 years, but treasures quiet mornings in her "special chair" with Jesus.

She lives alone, but keeps a continual guest house just to bless people.

She's spunky, radiant, and at 71, she just joined a gym.

Sally is, besides my own mother, perhaps the most hospitable person I have ever met. She made us feel like it was her privilege to host us in her beautiful Arizona home. We swam in her pool, watched a beautiful Tucson sunset, enjoyed sweet conversations, and met her "accountability girls," Taffy and Gail, for a precious lunch & prayer time that had all 5 of us in tears.Let me tell you, these women are beautiful. Such gentleness and sincerity. Such sparkly eyes that just glow with love for Jesus. Their words of wisdom and encouragement left Hannah and me scribbling quotes in our journals and rehashing conversations for hours on the road.

On a different note, I also received a friendly Arizona welcome from this little guy...

He was hanging out on my swimsuit. Got my finger real good. Hannah and I flipped out, grabbed a tennis shoe, and smashed him to pieces. My finger went numb, but I, being the ignorant mid-western girl that I am, still didn't think it was that big of a deal.

"You do know they're poisonous, don't you?" Sally said.

Yikes. Check ya later, Arizona.

Mile 1,901: still in Texas...

2010-08-24T14:35:00.000-04:00

Two full days of driving and we have yet to see another state line.

We also have yet to find an English radio station. (I know, I should be embracing the opportunity to brush up on my Spanish, but frankly I can only take so much of these mariachi bands.)

We did eat the best tacos of our lives, though. I suppose that makes up for something.

Mile 1,292: Dallas, TX

2010-08-23T17:08:00.005-04:00

The Texas sky is really as big as they say it is. We drove west into the sunset, then watched the stars come out and fill up the sky like a giant snow-globe.

Had a minor scare with the police. Hannah pulled over and assured the officer that she wasn't speeding-- she'd set the cruise control at 70.

"Oh nooo, ma'am," replied the officer in true Texas drawl, "we wouldn't stop ya just fur speedin'. You got a light out. Cute car, though." And then I think he tipped his hat.

We drove away with only a warning. And a wonderful little fact: apparently in Texas they don't give tickets "just fur speedin'." God bless Texas.

Mile 651: Birmingham, AL

2010-08-18T14:24:00.003-04:00

A quick visit with my godly, praying, Nashville relatives...

(Uncle Ron, Aunt Jyl, cousin Lucas & his sweet girlfriend, Amy. Thanks, y'all!)

and we were on our way to our first major stop--

The Church at Brook Hills, with Pastor David Platt LIVE!

Felt like we were pulling into Disneyland, we were that excited.

You may recognize the name "David Platt" from previous posts-- his podcasts (especially the Radical series) have been perhaps the single greatest influence in my spiritual journey, aside from the Bible itself. And precisely because they've drawn me to the Bible itself! It's not about David Platt or The Church at Brook Hills, lest I turn this into hero worship. It's about GOD.

And what an encouragement to be in a place where the Spirit of God is moving people into action! In response to James 1:27 and God's heart for the widows and orphans, the church has decided to take on basically the entire foster care system of Birmingham. "Starting right here," they say, "we don't want a single child to be without a home." Wow. They've also extended this globally, pouring much of their resources into caring for widows and orphans in India. That, my friends, is FAITH in ACTION!

The stage is set up to look like an Indian slum, because that is the image they want to keep at the forefront of their minds.

I'm so challenged by the active faith exemplified in this church. A people who listen and do (James 1:22). Who don't believe obedience to Christ is optional. Who's fruit is evidence of true Gospel-transformation.

I came across this quote by Charles Spurgeon in his commentary on Matt. 25. I think it's a fitting description of The Church at Brook Hills and, I pray, for all of us as well.

(On that Day...) they will bashfully disclaim the praise pronounced by the King. They had no idea there was anything meritorious in what they had done; they never dreamed of being rewarded for it... They fed the hungry, clothed the naked, visited the sick, for Christ's sake, because it was the sweetest thing in the world to do anything for Jesus. They did it because they delighted to do it, because they could not help doing it, because their new nature impelled them to do it.

How sweet it is to do anything for Jesus. May we live like we believe it.

life is a highway

2010-08-15T14:13:00.002-04:00

14 days. 15 states. 5,256 miles... and we're back!

There's no way I could condense this adventure into just one post...

so stay tuned!

Jon & Val

2010-08-15T10:10:00.000-04:00

I first met Val in the Moody plaza, both of us in matching black & khaki. It was simply meant to be. We shared a lot of life together during those three years in Houghton 607... big city adventures and final exams and pranks and blind dates and endless bunk bed chats about life, God, and boys, of course.

And then there was the night, there on our bunks, when she told me about the mysterious, curly-haired musician that had caught her eye. "He's just intriguing," she said, "that's all." But I knew better.

Last month they were married-- Mr. & Mrs. Guerra-- and what an honor it was to celebrate with them! Such a beautiful reflection of the Gospel.

The wedding was one-of-a-kind, with a whimsical, vintage charm that only Jon & Val could pull off. Jon composed (yes, composed!!) all the music; Val wore her mom's dress, and we hand-picked wildflowers for our bouquets.

And at the reception, they sang a barber-shop octet, together with many of their talented musician friends. So fun!!

Valerie Anne, from Chicago to Rome to Paris to Delhi, never have I known a better roommate or friend. Jon is one lucky guy. Thank you both for allowing me to be a part of your wedding and a part of your lives. Congratulations!

just checking in...

2010-07-31T16:42:00.005-04:00

This summer has been an absolute whirlwind.

My college roommate and dear friend, Val, became Mrs. Guerra last Saturday. She's got a new roommate now, and I would only be willing to give up that position to one so worthy as Jon. It was such an honor to share a part in their special day. Beautiful, beautiful wedding. Will post pictures soon...

...but for now I'm off on an unknown adventure, a road-trip/"vision-trip" with my sweet friend, Hannah. We'll be gone for 2 weeks and would covet your prayers as we take this time to intentionally seek God & what He may have for our futures. We have a few contacts and tentative plans, but mostly we are going in faith, with a desire to let God's Spirit lead. Pray that our eyes, ears, and hearts will be open to whatever He has in store. Details to come!

Seattle's Best

2010-07-10T23:45:00.000-04:00

Congratulations, Josiah & Jamie Lee Green!

Last week, Audra and I took a little trip out to Washington for our good college friends' wedding. Oh. my. word. GORGEOUS! We ate and danced and watched 4th of July fireworks over the lake.

Laura Sauser, my dear friend, who's Lake Michigan wedding we celebrated just last June.

Moody Reunion!

The beautiful bride.

Big kid sparklers! :-)

And a few more from the Seattle Sisters' photo-shoot...

First Starbucks ever!

love my sweet sister.

the artsy foot shot. we try. :-)

redecorating.

2010-06-26T15:32:00.004-04:00

It happens every time. I'm not sure why I'm still so surprised. Just when I think I've made a seamless transition back into my "other life," a few weeks pass and I realize that I haven't actually "transitioned" at all-- I've just kept myself too busy to notice.

This time, I jumped right into the rat race of work and friends and family and an over-stimulating Chicago city life (it's been fun, don't get me wrong), leaving the weight of all these "foreign experiences" to collect dust like souvenirs. Well-intended souvenirs, the kind for which you barter and buy, pack them carefully in your suitcase, and then pull them out again only to find that they seem suddenly out of place back on this side of the world. They don't fit with your decorating style; in fact, there's no more room on the shelf anyway.

They don't belong here.

And so rather than find a place, try to mesh your styles, or even redecorate for that matter, you stuff them in a drawer.

Memories of another world.

Untouched.

Out of the way.

I should know-- I have a whole drawer full of Indian pillowcases and tablecloths and bangles that didn't seem nearly so gaudy when I was eyeing them in the markets. But now, back at home, I'm just not sure what to do with them anymore. Maybe I'll pull them out again. Someday. Later.

Well, friends, that "drawer" is exploding.

It's time to redecorate.

hope for Bangkok

2010-06-10T12:10:00.001-04:00

Imagine the worst movie you have ever seen.

And then imagine that it's true.
And even worse.

For me, this was Bangkok. I don't know how to write about it; I only know I can't NOT write about it.

Oh God, may I not glorify evil or exploit the oppressed for the sake of a "story."

These are not stories.
They are people, real people, like you and me and your sweet 5-year-old daughter.

Okay, let me back up-- on our way home from India, Kelly and I stopped in Thailand for a fun finale of $3 massages and shopping and sightseeing and a conveyor belt of all-you-can-eat sushi!

And... a reunion with my dear college friend, Bekah!

(Friend collision-- I love it!)

Bekah is working with Word Made Flesh, an organization that helps the women and children on the streets of Bangkok. During our short visit, we were able to jump in with her team, meeting the women, visiting a refugee detention center, and observing the city night-life scene.

Bangkok is a dark city with an infamous sex-industry that draws hungry tourists for casual "sexcations," providing up to 30% of the national income. The layers are so deep, it's hard to know where to begin...

I saw streets lined with hollow-eyed women, a number tagged on the little bikinis they were wearing, making them available for "quick-time room" rental.

I saw middle-aged white men, with wedding rings, toting around their "girlfriend-for-the-week."

I saw a 12-year-old boy, drugged and dressed as a woman, dancing among the other prostitutes for money.

I met a Nepali woman, trafficked to a brothel in India until she was too old for use, who then fled to Thailand for a "better life" only to be raped by a neighbor while she was cleaning houses. She is due next week with the resulting baby whom she has every right to resent. But I saw no bitterness or anger in this sweet woman's eyes. Instead she radiates with the freedom she has found in Jesus, her "true husband." There is no other explanation for such joy.

I heard a man recount his "undercover" visit to several lesser-known brothels in the city, including an abandoned hotel enslaving teenage girls on a stage behind glass. Men were bartering over their price. (Oh, and the brothel was owned by the Chief of Police...)

I met a Cambodian immigrant, a beautiful Christian woman, who was picked up off the streets and sent to a detention center with her 3 children, one of whom-- a could-be-Gap-model 5-year-old girl-- was recently kidnapped by a tourist pimp. Amazingly, she was found by the police and returned to her mother only hours after the incident.

Evil, inhumane realities. Realities that break God's heart even more than my own.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do in light of what I've seen. I don't know, but I have to do SOMETHING.

The crazy thing is, I could also do NOTHING. I'm reminded of this even now as I've jumped right back into life in America. I am among the privileged who have the power to turn the channel, look away, and busy my life with trivial distractions. Not everyone has this luxury.

With greater awareness comes greater responsibility.
We are aware.
And we are responsible.

I'm also trying to figure out what this means. We can pray. We can give. We can go. Thankfully there are many groups who are already taking action. If you're interested in learning more or getting involved, check out Word Made Flesh, Starfish Project, Oasis, or Destiny Rescue for starters. There is hope-- for Bangkok and Delhi and Chicago. I'll close with these lyrics, written by a band called Blue Tree during a trip to Thailand.

You're the Light in this darkness, You're the Hope to the hopeless,
You're the Peace to the restless, You are...
For there is no one like our God, there is no one like you, God!
Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city.
Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done here.

Friends, let's PRAY hard for these greater things, and ask God how we can be a part of it! There is no one like our God.

Bangkok, burgers, and babies!

2010-06-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

Bangkok was... wonderful. terrible. heavy. intense. A lot to process-- I'll write more soon.

Arrived in Indy just in time for a Memorial Day cook-out with the whole family. Mmm, nothing says "Welcome to America" like a hamburger on the grill!! :-) It was our first time all together since the most recent addition, my 3-month-old nephew, Brayden. Such a cutie! We're still waiting for Baby Rack #3. Audra and I are here in Indy for one more day, hoping to be around for the excitement. Who knows, maybe this afternoon we'll be making a trip to the hospital...?!?! Come on, already!!

slumber party... on the roof!

2010-05-23T00:01:00.000-04:00

Kelly and I leave tomorrow morning,and we're packing in all the fun before we go! Last night we camped out with the boys-- roasted the last of the marshmallows, told every story we could think of, and slept under the stars.Or tried to sleep, anyway. Blasted dogs and Indian dance party. Do they really have to play the music so loud?! Woke up bright and early, thanks to the chicken farm next door. But this was totally worth it...

Sunrise over the Himalayas.

(By the way, both of the pictures above were taken by the boys & are completely un-photoshopped!)

Good morning, Rahul!Rise and shine!

More great memories. Sure gonna miss these boys.

It's been strange watching the other volunteers say their goodbyes. I'm really glad that I don't have to do that... yet. I honestly don't know how I'll manage. Ever. This is my second family, and families don't say goodbye.

I do sense, however, that my time here may be coming to a close, as God seems to be leading me in another direction. I'm still not exactly sure what that direction is, but hoping that this summer will bring more clarity. (I'd be grateful your prayers!) More on that later. Regardless, I do know that I'll be back here in the fall for one more term, so this is just a "see ya later."

Delhi tomorrow. Thailand on Tuesday. (I'm visiting my dear friend, Bekah, who is working with women and children on the streets of Bangkok. Can't wait to see her!!! And thankfully the riots seem to have settled...) Chicago next Monday. I don't in any way feel a push to leave, but I AM super excited for this summer! Excited to meet my new nephew and (???), excited for summer weddings and reunions and family vacations, excited to ride my bike along the Chicago lakefront, and excited to see many of YOU! Until then...!!!

school's out!

2010-05-16T14:57:00.000-04:00

We just finished up a 5-week session of "activity-based learning"-- no text books, no curriculum. A little bit crazy, but the students definitely enjoyed it, and I think they might have learned something too. :-) Here are a few highlights...

SCIENCE FAIR: Our 6th grade challenge was to turn waste materials into something useful. Narotham made a lamp out of styrofoam scraps, wires, a light bulb and a cardboard box. And it worked! Genius. We also had a "junk fashion show," and some of our boys (John, Ajay, and Anshuman) created an entire suit--pants, shirt, pockets and all!-- out of plastic wrappers. Looking good, Anshuman! :-) HISTORY FAIR: ANCIENT EGYPT (3rd annual!)GEOGRAPHY FAIR:

IRAN with Kelly and her 4th graders and their persian rugs & burkas...

MEXICO with Kalana and my 6th graders... My favorite mariachis, Ajay and Anshuman, with their homemade sombreros...The piñatas were a big hit! (no pun intended...) ;-)My students really enjoyed learning Spanish, and it was fun for me to brush up again too.¡Viva Mexico!Katie (Japan), Kelly (Iran), me & Kalana (Mexico)

EIFFEL TOWER... "Indian-ized" by the 7th grade.

You know something's wrong when it has to be labeled.

Hmm, maybe next year we should go back to the text books... ;-)

Happy Birthday, Kelly!

2010-05-14T10:27:00.020-04:00

We celebrated Kelly's birthday last weekend with another FABULOUS costume party!!!! (Kelly is the party queen around here.) The boys were superheroes; the girls were princesses. We all got ready and then paraded over to the big boys' house and back for chowmien & Jell-O... yet another all-time favorite memory to go down in the books!

Ashutosh & Andrew, our dangerous pirates with their pet parrots & screw-driver/sock hooks...

Ajay and Pradeep decided not to dress up this year...Ashish. Aww, love him! Frog Prince Ratan & Indian Princess Kelly

Rahul loves those party favors almost as much as posing for group pictures...

Special appearance by the Tooth Fairy... uh-oh, Mukhund is in trouble!

Somebody hasn't been brushing...

The volunteers: Tooth Fairy Amanda, White Witch Kalana, Indian Birthday Princess Kelly, Medusa Katie, and Shishya School Girl Ruth. :-)

Happy birthday to my dear friend and roommate, Kelly! I don't know if I've met anyone with a bigger heart. I'm amazed at how God brought you here-- who would have thought that a little radio interview would be the beginning of such an invaluable friendship?! What will I ever do without you???

So glad I could celebrate with you!

you did it unto ME...

2010-05-04T09:01:00.013-04:00

A lot has happened in these past 3 months that I haven’t blogged about– heavy stuff, personal stuff, hard-to-think-through-and-articulate kind of stuff. It’s easy to post a few cute pictures of the boys flying kites or playing twister or swimming in their superman undies. Other things require more... thought... time... caution. And so I often put off those blog posts for "later" (or never). But this is a story I need to share.

I hesitate, because I don’t want to come across as Mother Theresa or some missionary super-hero. I’m NOT, let me just get that out there.

I left Jesus in a ditch.

It was Saturday afternoon and I was going to buy some onions for Frieda’s homemade pizza. She let me borrow her bicycle. Dehradun (where the McRaes live) is a busy city, and Indian traffic is... well, crazy. I was holding on to those handlebars as motorcycles and buses and big trucks whizzed by in all directions.

Then, just up ahead, I spotted a man lying on the side of the road, passed out drunk, his legs sticking out onto the busy lanes of traffic. He was dirty, unconscious, with crusty stuff coming out of his nose. Someone needs to help him, I thought. Unsure of what would be a culturally appropriate response as a foreign woman, I pulled over my bicycle and stopped a few men who were walking by.

"Could you help me move this man?" I asked in my pathetic "Hin-glish."

"No," they answered, motioning with their hands, "he’s drunk."

"I know he’s drunk," I said, "but could you please help?"

They just shook their heads and kept on walking.

The Good Samaritan, live.

An older man was also riding by on his bicycle-cart, saw what was happening, and must have assumed I was a Christian because I’m white. He began to explain to the other 3 men something about "hindi-hindi-Bible-hindi-hindi-God." By this time, we were creating quite a scene, all of us stopped there on the side of the road. The 3 men reluctantly bent over and moved the drunk man’s legs into the ditch. And then we all continued on our way.

Feeling somewhat satisfied that the man was off the road, I went and bought some onions. But as I came back on that same road only 10 minutes later, again I saw the man, convulsing on the ground as he vomited on himself.

I didn’t know what to do.

So I just kept on riding.

And all I could hear were Jesus’ words from Matthew 25, "as you did unto the least of these, you did it unto me."

Such haunting words. Still I feel their weight. I am not the Good Samaritan. I don’t know what I should have done– culturally, practically, "responsibly." But I do know if that was Jesus in the ditch, I would not have left him there.

What if I took Jesus at his word? If I really believed he meant what he said? I’ve been so challenged to think through this recently as I have been listening to 2 podcast series– "Radical"and "Faith Works," by David Platt (I would HIGHLY recommend downloading them for yourself!). Man, so much I could write about here, but let me just share a few of the quotes that have been challenging me as I wrestle with what it means to follow Jesus and to love "the least of these"-- in a country where "the least of these" seem to be the majority.

"Faith produces fruit. If there is no fruit, there is no faith." -David Platt

"What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says, 'Go in peace, be warmed and filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also, faith by itself, if it does not have works, is DEAD." -James 2:14-17

"A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing is ultimately worth nothing." -Martin Luther

"As followers of Christ, obedience is NOT optional. We must be careful not to hide behind a willingness to obey, when God has said, ‘Do it!’" -David Platt

"Mercy is not an optional addition to being a Christian. Rather, a life poured out in deeds of mercy is the sign of genuine faith." -Timothy Keller

"We do not help the poor in order to be saved. We help the poor because we are saved." -David Platt

"Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave me food. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry... or thirsty... or a stranger... or naked... or sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me...'

Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food. I was thirsty and you gave me no drink. I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.' Then they will also answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?' Then he will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.'

And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." -Jesus, Matt. 25

twenty-five

2010-05-02T13:02:00.010-04:00

And what a HAPPY BIRTHDAY it was! :-)

*Breakfast with Kelly (mmm, fresh mangoes!!)

*Phone calls from home

*A shower of hugs & kisses & cards & gifts from my students (Taj Mahal snow globe and plastic coasters in a Cinderella-carriage... nice.)

*A shower of WATER from the boys at lunch. (They would!) I had just finished my rice & dahl when suddenly whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! 3 buckets before I could even react. I was totally soaked, and the boys were loving it. :-)

*Afternoon "Appy Fizz" drinks with the girls

*Swimming with the boys– they love to gang up and dunk the volunteers. (Our odds are NOT good!) I did have a few short-lived victories though, when I’d push like 5 boys under and declare, "King Kong! King Kong!" haha!

*Funfetti cake!!!! :-)

*Sweet cards & gifts from the boys– Thapa gave me a present wrapped up in an old worksheet. I thought it might be a dead lizard like last year. But I opened it to find the little stuffed animal he got for Christmas and one of the photographs from his picture album. I wanted to cry. He watched me open it from a distance, embarrassed, and then went under his bunk to hide. I pulled him out for a hug. How could someone with so little give so much?

*Tucking the boys into bed– the house parents do this every night now, which is better for the boys, but I miss it so much. Ruth Auntie asked if I wanted to have a turn since it was my birthday. YES, PLEASE!! Singing and praying and kissing their little brown cheeks goodnight... seriously the best present I could have imagined!

*A full moon & a full heart as I walked back to my house for one last surprise... a birthday card from the "tooth fairy." (Still haven’t figured out who it’s from!) :-)

***

For me, birthdays are always a time for reflection, and "quarter of a century" seemed especially deserving. (Half-way to 50, as my good friend, Laura, so kindly pointed out.) :-) And so, this year, I made a time-line (I know, I’m a dork...). As I looked at my life on a piece of paper, it was amazing to see God’s hand so clearly at work, and I was able to say, "God, I am truly SATISFIED with the way you are running my life." (Let me tell you, I have not always felt that way!) It’s not at all what I would have predicted– I thought I’d be married by now, and living in some Spanish-speaking country, certainly not India– and yet here, at 25, I wouldn’t have it any other way...

My God is so GOOD, my time-line is FULL, and I have every reason to anticipate even better days ahead. Hello, 25!

birthday bash!

2010-05-02T12:09:00.001-04:00

The birthday princess... Kelly, Amanda, Kalana and Ruth

We all have birthdays within 2 weeks of each other, so this weekend we decided to have one big P-A-R-T-Y with the boys! Pinatas, chowmein, glow sticks (thanks, Lori Rack!) and s'mores (thanks, Aunt Mart)! What a FUN night!!! :-)

fresh eyes at Shishya

2010-04-26T21:30:00.005-04:00

Sometimes life here becomes so "normal" that I forget what a unique place this really is. A new friend came down to visit recently, jumping right in with fresh energy and fresh eyes. She writes about her experience and offers a great "outsider's" perspective on this place. Check it out here. Thanks, Nicole & Chris!

harvest time

2010-04-23T10:28:00.007-04:00

My life this past week has involved a whole lot of this... It's wheat harvest time here on the farm, and this year I decided to pitch in. It's a huge job, and every extra body is a big help.

I'm not gonna lie-- there are days (um, like pretty much all of them) when I don't feel like working, especially in this heat. Ughh! But, the boys continually challenge and inspire me with their great attitudes. They make even harvesting fun! We have competitions; we haul heavy tarp-loads and pretend it's our "airplane," and yesterday we chased a monkey all over the farm! My favorite, though, is when we dump a big tarp-load of wheat onto the main pile. The little boys jump on top of the tarp like it's an inflatable funhouse. Makes me smile every time. :-)I find the whole process super interesting. Let me give you the step-by-step...

#1) Plant wheat.

#2) Cut with sickle.

#3) Gather rows into bundles.

#4) Carry bundles to thresher (individually or with a tarp).

#5) Thresh wheat, grinding chaff into cow food...and leaving us with...

#6) this.

The grain.

that makes the wheat.

that makes our dinner chapatis every night of the year.

Pretty amazing.

It really is a community effort. No one could manage alone. The other day, Kalana said to me, "I realized that I'll never be able to help as long as I stay inside." So true.

Yes, it's hot out, and it's hard work, and my hands and legs are all cut up. And yes, the comforts of my cool(ish) house and bed tempt me every single day. BUT... there's a ripe harvest right outside my window.

If I didn't go help, I'm sure someone else would do it. The job would get done without me. I just want to be a part of the harvest. And if I stayed inside, I know I'd regret it...

back to school!

2010-04-16T11:40:00.004-04:00

Ahh, first day of school! (We go by the British system here, I think.) LOVE it!! I put on my apple earrings (thank you, Alissa Strattan!) and ran over to the boys house early to get the classic "stand-in-front-of-the-door-with-your-backpack" pictures. The boys weren't quite as excited about these as I was. But Miraj cooperated... of course. (The kid is perfect!)

Miraj, 2nd grade.

Popeye?! Small Ratan is starting 3rd grade now. I taught him in kindergarten. Man, time flies...Mukhund, 4th grade.

And now... let me introduce you to the new P.E. teacher!

Yep, I'm whipping these girls into shape. ;-) I think this is my new favorite time of the day!Girls here think that sports are only for BOYS. I'm trying to convince them otherwise. Let's just say, it's a work in progress... I think we'll start next week with jump ropes. ;-)

"trek light"

2010-04-12T08:48:00.006-04:00

We had plans.

Big plans.

But one thing led to another, and our trek became a "trek light" (which is not so bad, if you ask me...). :-) Kara, Jeremie, Kelly and I passed up the snow-peaks and hiked to Mussouri instead... about a 6-hour trek, not factoring in the three restaurant stops once we reached the top. Yes, three. We had to set up camp by moonlight, but that garlic naan at restaurant #2 was soooo worth it! :-)It was great to get away from the heat, enjoy the mountains, laugh with friends around a campfire, and spend some time alone with God. I needed that.And what would a trip to Mussouri be without a stop at the Tip Top Tea Shop? World's best pancakes-- worth any hike! :-)

Kites - Erma Bombeck

2010-04-09T13:41:00.012-04:00

I see children as kites.

It takes a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.

You run with them until you're both breathless,
you crash.

You add a larger tail.

They hit rooftops, entangle in trees.

You pluck them out of the mud,

you patch and mend,

adjust and secure

knots of twine close to your side.

You watch them lifted by the wind,

assuring them they'll fly.

Finally airborne you find,

they need more string.

and you keep letting it out.

But with each twist of the spindle,

the kite becomes more distant.

And somehow you know that it won't be long before the cord will sever,

and that kite will soar as it is meant to soar,

free and alone.

And as the wind gusts

pushing the kite further and further

up towards the clouds,

only then can you know

your did your job.

-Erma Bombeck

*A big thanks to the ladies from my mom's Bible study group who donated these kites. As you can see, they were a huge hit! :-)

hot hot hot!

2010-04-06T08:06:00.009-04:00

It’s officially SUMMERTIME here in India, and man, is it hot! I guess we hit record highs in March, something like 96 degrees, and it’s only getting hotter. BUT... hot weather means pool parties EVERY day!

The boys love their new superhero undies, which also double as swim trunks. :-) THANK YOU to everyone who donated those!

I’m so proud of how well they can swim! I remember trying to be "lifeguard" with Adrienne last year-- it took both of us to keep an eye on all the little heads bobbing around in the shallow end. But by June, nearly all of the boys were swimming on their own and diving fearlessly into the deep end. This week, even little Ashish learned how to swim, so now only Rahul is left. But we're working on it...

Honestly, I’m going to be a little sad when he does learn how to swim, because I will so miss catching him! It’s strange (but good, I know) to not be needed in that way anymore. Maybe like what a mom must feel when she sends her children off to kindergarten-- happy for them to gain independence, but also the loss of not being depended upon anymore. I feel that here in a lot of ways-- swimming is one of them. The boys are really growing up, their life here is so good, and I’m feeling less and less needed... which is good, just different. Anyways, I do love watching them grow up, and I'm so thankful to share life with them TODAY! They continue to make me smile...

He is RISEN!

2010-04-04T17:23:00.002-04:00

Much to write about, but for now I guess I’ll start with today... HAPPY EASTER!

We celebrated here with a special breakfast. The boys were so cute in their matching shirts, and of course they were just thrilled to cooperate for a picture...

During church, we went around to several "stations of the cross." While the groups waited their turn, the boys used sidewalk chalk to draw murals on the floor. I loved seeing their creations!

"Lord, thank you for taking my burden on you and giving me a new life."

-Lakhan

One of the stations included writing our sins on a piece of paper and nailing them to a cross, remembering both the guilt of our sin that nailed Jesus there, and the victory over the very same sin that was crucified with Him-- we are free from its power to live for Christ!

"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. Behold, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him, and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of him. Even so. Amen." Revelation 1:5-7

That's the Jesus we worship today-- nailed to a cross, risen from the dead, and coming again on the clouds, when every eye will recognize him as the Almighty King he really is. To HIM be the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen!

exams are over... it's PARTY TIME!

2010-03-26T00:03:00.001-04:00

"March Madness" in this part of the world means 2 1/2 weeks of super intense final exams for everyone 3rd grade and up! Poor kids get so stressed, their parents get more stressed, and for the whole month it's all that anyone talks about.

Our boys worked really hard, so when they finally finished on Tuesday, it was PARTY TIME! And what says "party!" like Jell-O...

and... TWISTER!!!!! :-)

(Big thanks to Diane Swihart for the game!)

John and Anshuman were unbeatable, and Rahul took his "spinning" job very seriously, shouting out the orders, "RIGHT... FOOT... YELLOW!"

Whoops, the boys got a hold of my camera again...Oh, they make me smile!

so, i let the boys borrow my camera...

2010-03-22T11:14:00.001-04:00

two of the talented photographers, Miraj (8) and Ajay (11)matching Christmas "Team Shishya" shirtsSunday Funday!

ALL of these shots were taken by kindergarten-5th grade boys.

impressive, huh? kinda fun to see the world through their eyes!

Happy Birthday, Rahul!

2010-03-18T22:28:00.019-04:00

How many "favorites" am I allowed to have? Because Rahul is definitely one of them! Could he be any cuter?!?

We celebrated his 8^th birthday this past Tuesday– Kelly brought over the "birthday crown" and special cupcake plate, and he was all smiles, as usual.

Rahul is such a SILLY kid... his dances, goofy voices, and oh my, that never-ending gas! :-) Sometimes (often, actually) when I’m helping with his homework, he’ll suddenly say, "Excuse me, mam," walk over to the other side of the room with that cheeky smile, and let it rip. I just shake my head and say, "What am I going to do with you?!" and then attack him with tickles. Haha, boys will be boys!
Here’s baby-face Rahul... (when I first came, I remembered him as "Rotten Teeth Rahul"– he’s since lost all those rotten teeth and has a beautiful white smile!)

Pirate Rahul...

Last year's birthday...

Santa Claus Rahul... (check out those pearly whites!)King of the haystack Rahul... man, he's getting so big.

I love his excitement over little things, like a new pencil or a toy hippopotamus or a stomach that’s "sooooo full!" or a bed that’s "sooooo warm!" on a cold winter night. His thankfulness challenges me.

Happy Birthday, Little Red. I sure love you!

good news, bad news.

2010-03-16T13:23:00.003-04:00

Bad news: scratched my head on Friday morning and found a live louse wiggling under my fingernail.

Good news: a brand new bottle of "Lice Killing Shampoo" saved the day! I think my scalp is clean!

Bad news: add a parasite to the mix = double whammy. Sunday was rough... and the worst part was not having an appetite for my much-anticipated sugar binge! ;-) (Sundays are Lent "cheat days," or more spiritually, "mini-Easters," as we anticipate the resurrection.)

Good news: woke up Monday morning feeling hungry and energetic! The boys told me, "We prayed for you, Mam, and God listened!" I believe it. He really did.

Good news: I finished listening to the "Radical" podcast series. Wow. GOD IS CHANGING MY LIFE, and maybe soon I’ll be able to put it to words... for now, let me just encourage–no, URGE– you to download these 8 sermons and listen to them yourself. Seriously. Do it. It will rock your world. I’ve never had such a hunger for God’s Word nor been so convinced that Christ is ALL that I want...

I keep thinking about the parable in Matthew 13:44, "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy, he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

To the world it was crazy. But to him, it made total sense to JOYFULLY forsake everything he had for the sake of the treasure. Friends, abandoning everything for the sake of Christ is no "sacrifice"– it’s smart! We have a BETTER TREASURE waiting! May our hearts be so gripped by the Gospel that we gladly surrender everything for the sake of Christ. I'm wrestling through what this will mean in my own life, and honestly, I'm not quite sure. But one thing I know–whatever the cost, He is worth it.

Jesus loves the little children of the world.

2010-03-08T04:17:00.000-05:00

The other night I was putting the boys to bed. I haven't had a chance to do that in a while, and oh, how I've missed it. Bharat was asking me about my family, and then very seriously, he said, "Mam, I don't have two things. You know what? I don't have sister and I don't have father."

My heart broke inside. Sometimes these kids are so happy, I almost forget that they're 8 or 9-years old and living without their parents...

I tried to keep it together. "Bharat, you do have a father. Do you know who He is?"

"God," answered Bharat.

Then I told the boys how there are many children in the world who don't have any mothers or fathers or families or homes or food... and they don't have a nice place like this to come live.

Rahul told me that he knew this-- that he'd seen a little boy with no fingers, begging "like this" on the side of the street.

Rahul comes from a leper colony.

We decided that night to pray for our families and for the children around the world without any families. Rahul volunteered to go first. Kneeling on his wooden bed, he prayed in broken English,

"Thank you, God,

for children who don't have mother, father,

who don't have homes, you give them homes,

who don't have fingers, you help them.

Amen."

Maybe the most precious prayer I've ever heard, and I'm pretty sure God choked up just like I did.

For the children who don't have mothers or fathers or homes or fingers... help them, God. Amen.

Egypt Day is back!

2010-03-06T03:42:00.006-05:00

2nd annual "Egypt Day"-- Val, I was missing you, my Cleopatra twin! As I was getting ready in the morning, I thought to myself, "WHY do I do this again?!?!" haha. But the kids loved it. Ankita said it was the best day of her life. :-)

Met a few dangerous pharaohs...

And some tough chicks too!

Human-pyramid competition...

And mummy-wrapping, of course.

What a day! Another stamp in the passport and another exciting adventure with Class 6... (they did remind me the next morning that I'd forgotten to "fly" them back to India at the end of our journey. Oops. And, logically, they refused to do our English lesson until we returned to Shishya School. We hopped back on the plane right away... close call!) :-)

on comfort

2010-03-04T05:15:00.003-05:00

"The life of uttermost service cannot be called comfortable. 'Comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house as guest, and then becomes a host, and then master. Ay, and it becomes a tamer, and with hook and scourge makes puppets of your larger desires. Though its hands are silken, its heart is of iron. Verily, the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, and then walks grinning to the funeral.' It is true; but it is one thing to applaud it as truth and quite another thing to turn from that lust that murders the passion of the soul, for the sake of these for whom Christ died. But no one who has done so would exchange this way of living for any other."

-Amy Carmichael, quoting Kahlil Gibran

Awe-full (Frederick Ohler)

2010-03-03T08:15:00.000-05:00

Great and holy God
awe and reverence
fear and trembling
do not come easily to us
for we are not
Old Testament Jews
or Moses
or mystics
or sensitive enough.
Forgive us
for slouching into Your presence
with little expectation
and less awe
than we would eagerly give a visiting dignitary.
We need
neither Jehovah nor a buddy--
neither "the Great and Powerful Oz" nor "the man upstairs."
Help us
to want what we need...
You
God
and may the altar of our hearts
tremble with delight
at Your visitation
amen.